The pain was real

Hey guys! Sorry I've been missing for about 10 days. I have been so exhausted. One day I slept through my alarm. That night I had a string art party and didn't get home until 1 am, so I didn't even set my alarm. My routine has been all screwed up since then, plus I've been packing and moving so I've needed more sleep the past few days. Hopefully I'll be back to normal next week.

I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. After today, I'm hoping to have our beds and couch moved and that will just leave several small things to move, and most of it will fit in my van to be moved and the rest will be going into the pod to be stored until we figure out where we're moving permanently. We didn't realize that we were trying to be out by Easter weekend until earlier last week and that was a "well crap" moment if I've ever had one. I'm still not sure how we'll get everything out and the house cleaned before Saturday night. Eric has been working so much, I've been doing most of it myself. He left for work at 4:30 this morning... And I don't expect to see him until around dinner time. Thank God for family and friends who have helped! Especially for Chelsie, who has helped me pack for several days!

Here is a picture of my exhausted girls at 5 am today. Just for fun because they're so cute. The days that Eric has to get up super early, we girls have been having "slumber parties" so that daddy's alarm doesn't wake us all up.

I'm so ready to be done with this move!! There is so much that needs done with In A Pinch, and I'm pushing it all out of my mind until we are out of this house.

So, it's Good Friday. I was about 5 days behind on my bible reading so I played some catch up this morning. Today's passage, not surprisingly, is about the Crucifixion. The passage was so long... Here is just a portion of it.

John 19:1-16
19 So then Pilate took Jesus and scourged Him. 2 And the soldiers twisted a crown of thorns and put it on His head, and they put on Him a purple robe. 3 Then they said,[a] “Hail, King of the Jews!” And they struck Him with their hands.
4 Pilate then went out again, and said to them, “Behold, I am bringing Him out to you, that you may know that I find no fault in Him.”
5 Then Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. And Pilate said to them, “Behold the Man!”
6 Therefore, when the chief priests and officers saw Him, they cried out, saying, “Crucify Him, crucify Him!”
Pilate said to them, “You take Him and crucify Him, for I find no fault in Him.”
7 The Jews answered him, “We have a law, and according to our[b] law He ought to die, because He made Himself the Son of God.”
8 Therefore, when Pilate heard that saying, he was the more afraid, 9 and went again into the Praetorium, and said to Jesus, “Where are You from?” But Jesus gave him no answer.
10 Then Pilate said to Him, “Are You not speaking to me? Do You not know that I have power to crucify You, and power to release You?”
11 Jesus answered, “You could have no power at all against Me unless it had been given you from above. Therefore the one who delivered Me to you has the greater sin.”
12 From then on Pilate sought to release Him, but the Jews cried out, saying, “If you let this Man go, you are not Caesar’s friend. Whoever makes himself a king speaks against Caesar.”
13 When Pilate therefore heard that saying, he brought Jesus out and sat down in the judgment seat in a place that is called The Pavement, but in Hebrew, Gabbatha. 14 Now it was the Preparation Day of the Passover, and about the sixth hour. And he said to the Jews, “Behold your King!”
15 But they cried out, “Away with Him, away with Him! Crucify Him!”
Pilate said to them, “Shall I crucify your King?”
The chief priests answered, “We have no king but Caesar!”
16 Then he delivered Him to them to be crucified. So they took Jesus and led Him away.[c]

This is just a mess... Pilate tried so hard to save Jesus... but Jesus knew that what was coming next had to happen. Several times Pilate said "I find no fault in Him." Basically telling them, hey guys, I want no part in this. And Jesus told him that the people who handed Him over to Pilate were the bad guys, and Pilate wanted to release Him even more. His hands were tied though. If he had released Jesus, I bet they would have killed him too. He had no choice but to hand Jesus over to the crowd, who led Jesus away to be crucified.

Every time I read this, I just feel so bad for Pilate. He tried so hard to do the right thing! But what he didn't know is that all of this had to happen. Poor guy, there was no way out of it. I mean, what if he had released Jesus? What if Jesus hadn't been crucified? What if our sins hadn't been forgiven?

I know some people think that we (Christians) are crazy. A lot of my friends don't believe what I believe. But I find great peace knowing that even when I do mess up in life, God has my back, and that Jesus died for my sins so that I can live freely, and have everlasting life with Him in Heaven. I don't know what everyone else is living for.. I mean, if this isn't the center of all of it, what's the point? And today, Good Friday, is the day it all happened. Today is the day that Jesus died for us. God sacrificed His Son. How could you let your only child die to save the lives of other people, half of whom don't even like you? Some of whom don't think you even exist? I know He rose again in 3 days. But the death was still real. The pain was real.

The pain is real still.

So today, for a moment at least, I sit, in silence, and think about God the Father, and about Jesus, and about what life would be like if Good Friday hadn't been so incredibly bad. I'm thankful to have a Savior who loved me enough to suffer my punishment. Even though I don't deserve it, I get to reap the rewards of Jesus' pain and suffering. I need to stop taking that for granted.